Wacky Fun
by Dude-It's-Sam-Not-Sammy
Summary: Wash wakes up in a Alliance prison.....after he was brought back to life. Post BDM.
1. Wacky Fun

"Wacky Fun''

Disclaimer: No I don't own anything related to Firefly, anybody you don't recognize came from the wonder of my I call my mind.

Spoilers: Serenity. Based After serenity

It wasn't long after. At least I don't think it was. I really don't know how I

got here. "Tell you the truth I don't know where "here" is!" he yells out from his cage to no in particular. "Great, now I'm talking to my self. Get a hold of your self Wash.''

Wash looks down and is staring blankly at the floor. He's in a 12x12 bright silver and white cage. Wash looks up again. "This looks a little too nice to keep prisoners in.''

He hears foot steps coming toward him. He quickly stands up, a little too fast, because he stumbles over slightly. When he looks to his left he sees two men. He looks down at their name tags, a little surprised they had one. "Crap, not good !" I'm in trouble. The name tag read: Dr. C. Price Alliance.

Zoë's sitting in Wash's pilot seat. She's looking at picture of her and Wash at their wedding. A few minuets later Mal walks in and Zoë hides the picture.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked. "Fine, sir. Why do you ask?'' "I need a reason to ask if my second in commands ok?'' Zoë smiles. " no, sir. I'm fine, really." "ok, still you should get some sleep. We won't be planet side until…... " Mal looks down and fiddles with some buttons. The numbers come up on the screen.

"6 hours. That gives you more than enough time." "sounds like a good idea. Maybe I should.'' Mal walks out. She looks at the photograph again "Maybe I should."

Back in the cage, Wash again is unconscious and is now beginning to wake.

"Oh my god, don't tell me. There is some thing VERY familiar about this!'' he sighs. What do they want with me? I mean really. Think, Wash think! What is the last thing I remember……(flash back, Wash is flying Serenity the Reavers are following) Wash, to Mal "It's ok, I'm a leaf on the wind!'' "What does that mean!'' Wash is turning left and right barely moving out the way of the weapons being fired "I'm gonna have to glide her in.'' Zoë looks at him "Can you do that?"

(present time)

"whoa, weird." then he heard a voice. "I see your remembering. Very good." Wash turns around to see Dr. Price standing there. "What do you want with me? I mean unless the Alliance has some sudden interest in my fascinating sarcasm, I highly doubt that by the way, I see don't a reason in the 'verse why I should be here." Price chuckles "oh, don't worry you'll remember soon enough." Wash looks at him than asked "Remember what?" Price starts to walk away "I'll give you a hint. Reavers." Price said.

Then it hit him. (flash back. Wash is trying to glide Serenity in the landing dock on Miranda. Serenity hit's the ground and slides 80 or 90 feet than turns around to face the entrance. The emergency lights comes on. It's red. Wash looks relived.) "I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I----"(a spike from the Reavers ship flies through the window straight through Wash) (present time) Wash looks like he's seen a ghost, thinking of course, he is one. "I'm dead?"

Mal lands Serenity in what looks to be a deserted camp. Zoë looks at Mal. "Sir, are you sure this is a good place to land?" Mal answers, but is still looking straight a head." We don't got no choice in the matter. Now personally I would have pick a better spot. But the person we're dealing with needs to keep a low profile, that's why we're meetin' him here." Zoë nods. Jayne, and Simon get off. Simon Looks at mal. "I really don't see why it's necessary for me to come along." Mal turns to Simon. "This isn't one of our normal jobs, things might get little hairy. We may need a doctor. (Mal in to radio) Kaylee keep close look out. Inara you look after River." (though radio) " you got it captain. We'll be fine."

Mal says to the group. "well, let's go than." they walk in the deserted camp. Every one looking tense. They walk in the tent. Everyone's dead. Mal's the first one in. "what's going on here?'' Simon immediately goes to check the bodies. "looks like some one got here first. Gun shots." they here a guns lift. They turn around their surrounded. Zoë leans over to Mal. "Friends of yours?"

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter! Please R&R! )


	2. I'll Take 'Freedom' For 200 Please

"Wacky Fun!"

Chapter 2. 'I'll Take 'Freedom' For 200 Please.'

The cage Wash is pacing back and forth. "I'm dead. No. died? Dead, died, dying. Its all the same. I gotta get out of here. After what they did to me I highly doubt there going to let me just walk out of here." God, I feel like something from "Resident Evil". He stops at the thought of that. Shakes his head and continues pacing. But checks his pulse…. " just in case" he thought to him self. Only chance I have to escape is when they take me out of the cage. Whenever that is. If they brought me back, that means every one else must think I'm dead. Better yet KNOW I'm dead. So there's no help from them. He looks around, trying to find some clue to where he was. "If this is an Alliance facility, its gotta be one of the core planets. Since its most likely a secret facility. There's only one planet I can think of. "Ariel."

Back in the camp, Simon, Mal, Zoë are being held at gun point. Jayne walks in and points his gun behind what seems to be the shooters leader. Jayne looks at the man. "I wouldn't get too carried away if I was you." he put his gun down the rest follows. Simon is surprised at the turn of events "Who would have thought Jayne would EVER save the day." everyone looks at Simon. The shooter to Mal "I take it YOU are the captain." "why?" Mal says. "I'm sorry for extreme measures. But I had to make sure it was you." The shooter replied. Mal looked at the man. "You said you had a job. You best tell us before we take our business elsewhere. Considering your not in any place to argue."

The shooter smiles "My name is Murray, and shooting me? Well that's out of the question." Murray said. "Whys that?" Mal asked. "Because I know whereabouts of your little friend Wash. And believe me, it's not six feet under." said Murray.

Wash is sitting on the floor. Wash stands up when hears foots steps. "Easy now." The voice says. "I'm here to help you." Wash looks at him like he never heard a word he just said. "You know if your planning to----- S-say what? Help me? Why?" The man says "Lets just say I have a little….score to settle so to speak." He smiled. Wash gets a little worried "See that right there, that look. Really don't like the look." The man continues. "Oh don't worry, it has nothing to do with you." "Really! Then why are you here?" Wash asked "To help you get out." The man said "And you would do that because….?" The man smiles "Of the last confrontation we had. Having to do with one River and Simon Tam." Wash looks at him. "I'm not going to tell you where they are if that's what you mean." "I'm going to get you out of here." The man says. "What do you want from me? I don't think your gonna break me outta here for free."

"I'm not." Wash gives him an 'I knew it' look. "All I want from you is to not get caught. I think that's more than fair." "Why should I trust you? You work for the Alliance, how do I know you won't pretend to (Wash being him makes the bunny ears.) "catch" me? Turn me in and get the prize for your self?" "Because I want revenge, you want to get out. And it just so happens that you getting out, works for me. And as for you trusting me, lets just say when I want some thing. I get it. And if I want you out. You'll get out." He starts to walk a way "My name is Victor, by the way. And you haven't seen the last of me." Wash looks slightly confused, not knowing what to do. I know I'm not the "fire fight" kinda person, I fly the ship for crying out loud! Always have an excuse for that, "Sorry! I must be on the wrong ship." This may be my only chance to get out. Wash laughs to him self. "If Zoë could see me now."


	3. Help on the way

"Wacky Fun!"

Chapter. 3 Part. 1 "Help on the way"

Zoë walks up to Murray "What do you mean by that?" the look on Zoë's face could kill. "I mean Wash isn't dead. Or well he was, but not any more." Murray smiled. Even Jayne was disturbed by what Murray was saying. Mal stepped up next to Zoë, he's the first to comment on what he just said. "What do you mean he's not dead?"

Murray replied "The Alliance. They've been experimenting on the dead, tying to bring them back. Ya know, making people better? That kinda thing. Any ways, it just so happens that you pilot, Washburne, or Wash you call him. Upset some very high powered people before he became your pilot. Figured it would be easier to avoid the Alliance with you trying to do the same."

Jayne, who was uncharacteristically quite, spoke up. "How does that got anything to do with Wash?"

"Well it just so happens that one of those high powered people, Victor I believe it was. Got as you would say, Royally Screwed on a job him and this guy, Dr. Carson Price were working. Because of that, Price got the job he wanted. Now Price is in charge of the project that includes Wash. So you can imagine what would happen if Wash were to turn up missing."

Simon who was also quite spoke up. "How was he brought back?" Every one turned to Simon and than back to Murray. "The "how's" and the "what's" aren't my thing the "where's" and the "when's" are. Now if you put down your guns I can explain how to get your Wash back."

Zoë who very confused on all this, asked. "Why should we trust you?" "Because I know you ( he looks at Mal ) wouldn't mind getting your pilot back. And you ( he looks at Zoë ) would LOVE to get your husband back. And I know how to do that." Mal thinks a moment and looks to Zoë, than signals for Jayne to lower his weapon. Murray spoke up."In case you were wondering this is the job. The payment?" (he smiles.) "Wash."


	4. Wash’s Great Escape

"Wacky Fun"

Part. 2 "Wash's Great Escape"

Summery: Wash is the best of the best. Can find his way, no matter what. So, when he's handed the map to the Alliance prison, getting out should be a cake walk...right?

Wash is in his cell asleep, when he hears foot steps walking away from him. Then a loud bang, as the door closes. He looks out left, then right. He sees nothing, but when he turns

around he Sees a brown 2 x 3 feet pony envelope. He walks up to it and opens it in shock. Because in side of the package is the blue prints to the alliance facility he's in. "Wow",

he says still in shock. "Guess I'm not so screwed after all." Wash has a small smile on his face. This is the first piece of good news since I woke up I this place. He thought. And to

think, a few weeks ago he was going no where fast! With his smile still on his face, he goes to work looking for a way out.

One hour later...

The guard walks up to the door. Wash is pretending to be asleep, behind the gate. As the guard opens it Wash hits the gate with both his feet, sending the guard flying into the

opposite wall. Wash gets up looks down at the guard and says: "Sorry Charlie, Wash is unable to take your call at the moment. please leave at the "Beep". Wash takes "Charlie's"

gun and heads off in his pre-planned destination. "I hope this works." is what he say's to him self, knowing he's going to need all the luck he can to pull of this fong luh (Crazy) plan.

30 minutes later...

Wash is running though the halls looking slightly confused. "Ok, that was a left, right?" he looks down at the map again. Then up. And then, hoping that the map would change,

looked down again. "Ok that," and he points down one of the four halls. five if you count the one he came though. "is where I came from. and that," he points to another hall "is the

hall I started from sooooo..." he looks at the map once more "I'm back where I started from. Great!" he sighs, and looks at the map once more. Then he sees something.

Something he can't believe he missed. he sighs "Dang-ran. (of course.)" he says...and turns the map...right side up! "Now, lets try this again shall we?"

5 minutes later...

After zipping though the halls, things being a lot easier of course, with the map being right side up and all. Wash reaches a hall that on the map says 'Emergency Side Exit On Left'.

On the blueprint, also is a note on certain exits indicating which ones will be de-activated. "Now that's a little better."

2 minutes later...

Wash reaches the end of the hall. Thinking to him self ''Wonder where every one is? Must have known already that I've decided to take a walk on the midnight hour. You would

think they'd come'a running.'' In all it took the great Wash 30 minuets of wandering the halls, 3 minuets to Figure out WHY he was wandering the halls, 5 Minuets to find the right

hall, 2 minuets to get the exit and another 5 minuets thinking about this! Wash wasn't out that door 10 steps before that alarm stared to ring. "I should probably run." Wash looked

back "yeah, that would be a good idea." that's the last thing he said before he took off as fast as he possibly could.


	5. Top Gun

**"Wacky Fun!"**

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**A/n: **It has been soooooo long, I know! I am at last, getting back to this! for those of you who are still reading, you will not be disappointed! The story is just starting, taking you into the mystery that is Wash's past! 

Many thanks to: garden-crafter, Transgenic-girl, and the wonderful Lumberjane for reviewing!

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**Chapter 5**

"**Top Gun"**

**

* * *

**

_'You know,'_ Wash thinks._ 'I never really thought about this, as I have oh, so recently found out that running with out a particular destination is, well just as helpful as not running.'_

"Fun!" Wash says as he walks down the crowded street of Ariel, trying to continue being unnoticed by the rest of the population.

_'I get a map to an Alliance prison, I get out and then I'm just hung out to dry. What, am I just supposed to wander the streets until I'm picked up by some random person?'_ Wash thinks.

Just then as Wash turns the corner, someone calls out. "Hey, Ace. Over here." a voice calls. The man is about 6' 2 with dark dirty blond hair, wearing a trench coat t-shirt and jeans.

"Might as well follow." Wash says out loud. "Besides, what have I got to lose?" he walks in to the alleyway and follows the man. They come to a door the man opens it and Wash follows. Inside is a fairly large Flat, big enough to accommodate two or three people comfortably.

"Where are we? Wash asks.

"Your temporary home, Ace." the man replays and closes the door.

"Who are you and what's with the Ace thing? I haven't been called that since flight school."

"Aah well, you probably won't have recognized me anyway. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Still, I should at least give you a clue. You can't tell me you don't remember." The man shakes his head. "You're gettin' old, Top Gun."

Wash thinks for a moment and realizes who the man is.

"Cameron?" Wash asks. "The Fong luh, Shiong-muh duh duang-ren Cameron?"

"So, not so old then, and I am not a lunatic! " Cameron says.

"But you are crazy and violent?"

"Nah mei guan-shee" he say's "So, how have you been?"

"Umm, besides being dead? Great! I'm trying to put this delicately, so don't take any offense, but what are you doing here? Hell! What am I doing here? The last time I saw you, you were on Celestis, about to be arrested by the Alliance."

"None taken, and yeah, parents paid the fee. Got me out, and I ran." he said. "So, Ace, looks like you've gotten yourself into another tight spot. Getting caught by the Alliance? You must be slipping man, thought I taught you better than that."

"Yes, well sorry about that." Wash says sarcastically. "I was a bit busy with being dead."

"Yeah, I heard. About that, you're endanger. You and everyone you know." Cam pauses for a second. "Your parents, they went bankrupt."

"What? How did...? Do you know how much...?" Wash couldn't finish the sentence so he starts again. "My parents had enough money to last them 10 lifetimes! Jien tah-duh gway they're bankrupt!"

"Oh, but it's true. The second the Alliance found out you escaped they crashed the accounts. And there's something else..."

"What?" Wash ask.

Cam gave Wash a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry, Wash. Really, I am."

"What is it? Cam, what is it?"

"It's your bother, the younger one, Tré? They tired to kill him. The bloody Alliance tried to kill him."

"Is he...?"

"He's fine we managed to sneak him out of Celestis."

"Where did you send him?" Wash asks.

"_To Serenity,_ or the captain of. He should be meeting up Captain Reynolds soon. That's all I can tell you for now."

Wash let's out a sigh. "That's good. You know," Wash says. " Tré isn't that much younger. All it does is make me seem, well, old."

Cameron smirks. "That's the whole point, Top Gun. Now make yourself comfortable." He says as he walks out the door. "You might be here for a while. Oh, and don't leave the flat, they'll still be looking for you."

Wash just rolls his eyes. "Darn. Oh, well. What's number two on my list of things to do?"

Cameron laughs. "Same old, Wash." he says. "And Ace, You made some enemies in the past and now they're going back for revenge. Zhu tamin ya min zhu yi." he says.

"I will, and same for you."

He nods and then leaves.

"Great." Wash says. "Now What?"

_**T.B.C...**_

**Translations:**

Jien tah-duh gway: Like Hell

Fong luh: Crazy

Shiong-muh duh duang-ren: Violent lunatic

Nah mei guan-shee: That has nothing to do with it

Zhu tamin ya min zhu yi: Watch your back

**Pronunciations:**

Celestis: Cell- les- tis

Tré- Tray


End file.
